Forever Vacation, Forever Funny

Here is what made Yasmine and I laugh during our 3 week trip to Turkey and Lebanon in June 2012.  We named the trip, “forever vacation” inspired by the name of our resort in Bodrum, the Forever Club.

*Note: There are some quotes without authorship here.  Yasmine and I are pretty similar especially when it comes to our sense of humor so I often forget who said it, she or I.  “Get out of my head” is a common Yasmine saying when we’re together. 

Night 1:

  1. “YOTO: You Only Turkey Once” – Yasmine
  2. “Fart omelet” – Melissa, describing the smell of certain streets
  3. “Pre-meditated outfit”
  4. “One tuck and one no tuck” – Melissa

Boat Tour, June 12, 2012:

  1. Dolphin rape caves (Yasmine explained this horror to me as we watched dolphins jumping in and out of the Bosporus.)

Wednesday, June 13, 2012:

  1. “I want to throw away this cookie ad” – Yasmine at Doubletree Hilton in Moda complaining that we never got our cookies.
  2. “Nicey nicey” (Code words for “you’re really annoying me right now” or “stop being a jerk.” It’s a nuanced difference. Mom came up with it but it caught on quickly with the rest of the family.  Funny side note to this funny note: Auntie Sibel asked if “nicey, nicey” is an American expression because she isn’t familiar with it.  No, it’s not.  It’s a Momism, our favorite kind of expression!)
  3. “Meatbrush: toothbrush kebab”
  4. “Where did he go?” -Mom referencing Uncle Izet during our 6 foot kebab dinner.  “We ate him” -Yasmine

Friday, June 15, 2012: Istanbul Shopping Fest!

The “Istanbul Shopping Fest” was going on while we were there and during our first and only trip to a “mall,” the jingle played non-stop.  That song still gets stuck on my head!

  1. “Reverse monopoly: you win when you’re out of lira!”
  2. “Pants mania: endless pants cycle”
  3. “Pants therapist” (aka Yasmine’s role in the dressing room)
  4. “Pants Twilight Zone”

Sunday, June 17: Two Day Pilgrimage to Virgin Mary’s tomb

  1. We had to fast to see the Virgin Mary (we were in the car for 10 hours without a meal.  At that point, we were used to eating every 15 mins).
  2. “Isn’t Nathan’s mom religious?  Might be a good idea to get her something from here.” –Yasmine, professional girlfriend.  Note: Start business, certify people as good girlfriends.
  3. “Four Stars,” says Forever Club
  4. “SALT, SALT, SALT, SALT and it’s not even the O-cean!” – Yasmine
  5. Remix: “BEACH, BEACH, BEACH, BEACH and it’s not even the O-cean!”  -Yasmine

Monday, June 18: First day at Forever Club in Bodrum (after one night’s sleep)

  1. “Even Turkish children stay up later than Melissa” Yasmine in reference to children playing on the playground around 9 or 10pm.  We passed by them when walking in town, looking for a happening club to get a drink.

Friday, June 29: Back in Istanbul and back at the Hilton.

  1. “ROOM, ROOM, ROOM, ROOM and it’s not even that awk-ward!”

One week in Lebanon:

It’s not that Lebanon was less funny than Turkey but by the time we hit Lebanon, we were exhausted so we were less diligent about writing things down.

  1. “I’ll cook you a Lebanese breakfast” chef at the Golden Tulip walks out with fried eggs, tomatoes, cucumbers
  2. While driving in Beirut on a major street, we spot chickens walking in middle of the road and then see a man pull over to load one in his car.  We slowed down to ask him if these are his chickens and he said no but he wanted to bring one home to his wife to make for dinner.  Apparently, they fell off a truck!
  3. After seeing Boli drinking arak, Yasmine asks for child size arak.
  4. “Yasminanator” – Melissa teasing Yasmine’s freakish looking buff arms in a photo of us clinking glasses at lunch after the boat ride (see photo below)

1 Leb Yas arms

Yasmine laughing at the photo of herself as “Yasminanator”

1 Yas laughing

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The Quote Board: What would Michael Kors Say?

“I cant believe he/she threw me under the bus!” – Everyone on project runway, all seasons

1/30/13

“Do you want to go to a Superbowl party?” – Nathan

“When is it?” –Kris

“That’s the one party you can’t ask that question” – Mel

 Later, sometime in spring

“If I think about a Danish, I want a Danish.” – Nathan

“Being uncomfortable around your hairstylist is the worst.” –Yasmine

“Huh?  What did you not say?” – Nathan

“Coral reef – it’s like the downtown of the fish world.” –Kris

“Bland and bland aren’t dating at this point.” – Mel on Gossip Girl

4/ 25/13

“This show is a little risqué for the Christian mingle viewer.” – Nathan

“A full moon for a full moron.” –Mel

5/8/13

What the NPR pledge drive hosts really want to say:

“Listen up free loaders, this is the richest city in the world.  Pull over that BMW and call us right now.  Are you seriously going to sign up for the lowest membership rate?  You pay more for socks!  You would have nothing interesting to talk about without us!”

Words with Friends

1. “Parenthood: I don’t even miss my former life” –Nathan at brunch with new parents, Thaomy and Paolo (Fall 2011)

2. “Who would Jesus bomb?” –best bumper sticker ever

3. “I don’t know how to use my face” -Nathan at Monica and Tim’s wedding.  He has a theory that he has facial coordination syndrome which prevents him from having good control over his facial expressions.  He’s considering acting lessons.

4. “Let’s watch Blow and Good Fellas…. at the same time.  Blow Fellas” –Nathan and I

5. “Did you get any hen this weekend?” Kris being a brah at dinner with Ben, Nick, Erika, Kris, Nathan and I (Khan Toke Thai)

6. “We should be judges…in life. On Project Runway, on the Supreme Court.” – me to Nathan (9/22/12)

7. “I would have hired me.” – Nathan (9/24/12)

8. “Look at the squirrel.” – Nathan

“Look at the house.”  -Kris

“Man, I can’t believe that squirrel lives in that house.” –Nathan

9. “That was the day.” – me to Kris describing his day at the driving range

10. “Why buy the cow when you can buy the milk?” – Kris

11. “Hey, it’s George.  I have nothing to say.” –best answering machine message, from George Castanza

12. “What’s going on here?” –Dad at a stoplight.

“There are police on the left.  Don’t worry.  We’re cool.” –Mom’s response. (Xmas 2012)

13. “So what kind of sauce are you?” – Nathan making fun of my family nickname while on the phone with me.  He was in SD for         the holidays and I was in NC with my family. (Xmas 2012)

“Sassy Sauce.” –my response.

“That’s not a sauce.” –Nathan

“Well, Sporty Spice isn’t a spice.” – I win!

14. “I gotta face time with my cat.” – Eugene (Xmas 2012)

15. “A warm blanket of joy.” – Yasmine?  I’m 67% sure Yasmine said this to me.  (Xmas 2012)

16. Yasmine and Bryan’s 5 stages of British infatuation, as explained two days after Christmas day, 2012:

Step 1: You like their accent and all the words they use. Ex: Trolly.

Step 2: You start to realize how stuck up they are and how much they hate Americans.

Step 3: Awkward phases when you realize you don’t like them as much as you thought you did.

Step 4: You realize you hate them but they don’t know you don’t like them anymore.

Step 5: You start plotting against them.

17. “Tasteful side boob app.  Trashy! Classy!” – Yasmine during Cards Against Humanity (Xmas 2012)

18. “Who’s taking shots at Fridays!?” – Bryan (Xmas 2012)

19. “Burns your mouth off.” –me (NYE 2012)

“That’s how you know it’s good.” –Nathan

“If you can’t taste your food, you know it’s delicious.” –Jonas

20.  “It can’t be stupid and ugly.” –Nathan’s response to Ed Ruscha’s “Sin with Olives.” (at the MOMA on my 32nd birthday)

sin with olives

21. “If I wasn’t going to my own birthday, I might not go.” – me on the way to The Little Shamrock on a cold and rainy night.

22. “I dreamt that this guy died and I found ‘Kill Liam’ on my to do list in the kitchen.  He was #4.  Who could have imaginary framed me?  Who could have sucked this much at framing?” – me to myself (1/15/13)

23. “These big eyes can’t see?” –Nathan making fun of me without my glasses.